I Only Know My Way
by Nachtstern
Summary: James is frightened about the new feelings emerging from deep inside his conscious. They cause him to become more reckless than usual. Severus is more frightened buy his enemy's new forms of humiliation. Fetish, not for the faint at heart!
1. Chapter 1: Summer

I spent my summer like all the others gone to pass; hanging out with the buds at the beach by my parent's holiday home, while sun, smiles, and suntans painted the exterior of my being. Yet, even to the un-humanly keen senses of my friends, they failed to see the storm brewing in my sole.

I know how un-Potter sounding of me. But the only way to translate these crazy fits of thought is threw a filter of a bubbly teen girl. Let me go back to where my madness began:

It all started one night on the beach, roasting marshmallows and chatting away about ManStuff (ya know, chicks, quidditch, fast brooms, chicks, next year's pranks, chicks….) When the conversation when to the classic game of "Which Witch Would You Bang."

"All right Wormtail", Sirius said with a wink, "Tracy Stein or Martha McOrdel?"

"Ohhhhhh!" the group jeered. Both of the two choices were obviously traps. No male in his right mind would touch neither girl with a ten foot pole let alone shag them.

"I'm not going to answer that one!" squeaked Peter.

"Ya hav-ta Pete, it's the way it goes", Padfoot looked like he was enjoying the pained expression on his friends face as he glared at him waiting for an answer.

"Come on, just name one off", sighed Remus, "He's not going to let you off until you do."

"Fine!", Peter took in a sharp breath,"IguessitsStein."

We all burst into side splitting laughter. "I can't believe you! Stein, STEIN!", I gasped unable to utter anything coherent after that.

After about three minutes Pete angry voice split threw our laughter,"Allrightey Prongs, you're the next victim."

Threw giggles I replied sarcastically, "Do your worst Pete."

"FINE!,uuuh…ummm"

"What's the matter brain block?", chuckled Padfoot.

"NO! Uhhh, Prongs, Which witch would who bang? Narcissa Black o-"

This time I couldn't hold back "Bellatrix? Really Wormy? You want Sirius to come after you for talking about his _lovely_ cousins like that?"

"Wormtail, that really is low", hissed Sirius.

"What makes you think I was going to say Bellatrix!", spurt Peter.

"Well…", I cooed.

"Your wrong James", said Peter with an arrogant confidence that I never heard him use. "Prongs, which witch would you bang; Narcissa Black or Severus Snape?"

We all sat there dead silent in the warm summer night. What the hell was he thinking? What kind of a question is that? I wanted to voice all of that and much more, _choice_, words to him. Yet I could not find my voice and instead we sat in silence until Wormtail piped up.

"Well, James the Great One? Who will it be?"

"I don't believe that is a valid question." said Remus coolly "Witch implies female where as Snape is clearly male."

"Well not according to James. You hear him mock that git for his slim figure and lady hands."

For the first time in my life (and probably not my last) my own words were coming back to bite me on the ass. Peter was right I had said those things….but….to use them on me at a time like _this_. Think, think, think, Gawd! I didn't know what I could come back with, Pete clearly saw the defeat in my eyes and triumph caused the corners of his mouth to turn up to a smirk. No, I would not lose in anything, to anyone, not even a friend in a petty game. Time for some Potter charm reversal.

"You know what Pete, I think your right." I began. His smile fell, "What?"

"I said I think your right, he is quite the femine figure, if you allow me to say Sirius, it's daintier than your cousins!"

With that Sirius was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. The three of them were too caught up in there laughter I believe they barely noticed my forced shakey laughter.

I did not expect to have my emotions surged like that in front of them. I had been thinking about Snape sense the last day of classes. They were my normal planes, pranks for next year but lately I find my mind slipping into a dark frightenly sensual realm. It scares me to realize after having spent a period of time daydreaming, that no matter how hard I try to invision anyone else in his place I can't.

My friends worried faces snapped me out of my thoughts.

"You ok Prongs?"

"I'm fine Monny, just tired is all."

We all decided to lie out in the sand underneath the stars that night. Staring into the twinkling night sky drifted me back into the dark realm where I was gazing into dark eyes sparkling with fresh tears as I leaned down to kiss them away.


	2. Chapter 2: Sleep

_Click Clack Click Clack_

The Express was rolling along the tracts wobbling my body side to side causing me to grab onto the compartment doors for support. Lilly and I arrived at the station from her father's auto. Mr. Evan's was his usual ecstatic self, drilling us with questions about the courses we were going to take. He is always so enthusiastic about magic. When we arrived at the station some of Lilly's gryffindor friends ran up to her and dragged her off, she left shouting "Bye Dad~! I'll write often. Sev, I'll meet up with you in our usual compartment!"

So here I was again for the fifth time bounding down the tracks to Hogwarts, squeezing pass other students making my way down the aisle to the third last compartment. Everyone had changed quite dramatically threw the short break. The girls where curvier and had taken a liking to painting their faces up. The boys were more taller and deep sounding. Most reeked of aftershave or perfume. Luckily for me I did not have to put up with the daily ritual of the blade quite yet.

I glared at some passing third years as they eyed me up and down in passing. I wonder if I've changed any at all? Pff, what do I care, I know one thing is for sure all the extra studying this break can guarantee me one of the top spots of the class. _'Ya'_, that voice echoed in my mind, _'you pathetic weakling, brains will surly attract a women and defend your honor'. _

Grasping the handle to the compartment, I furrowed my brow and forced my eyes shut, trying desperately to silence the voice. I yanked open the door.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

We arrived at the station in the nick of time, a few more seconds later and I'm sure the barrier would have closed. The previous night we all stayed up late to eager to sleep causing us to fall back asleep ever after my mom called us down stair numerous times.

"Let's go to the back and find an empty compartment and take a power nap, don't wanna fall asleep face first in the feast pudding tonight."

Remus led the way down the aisle. He had a polite air that made people smile and part ways for him. I lagged behind getting greetings of bro-hugs and giggling hellos from the ladies. By the time I reached the compartment I saw Sirius slip into I was dog tired, _ha!_, and fell lazily into what I thought was the cushion of the seat.

"Ek~! Potter what do you think you're doing!" gasped Lily.

I opened my eyes and realized I had my face buried in Evan's crotch. I bolted straight up stammering; "imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry!" Quickly I shot a look at my fellow Marauders sitting across the way. They were grinning wide and Sirius gave me a wink.

I got up and squeezed myself between Peter and Remus. They all gave me a weird look and I know why. If this would have happened last year I would have said something cool like; 'Fancy seeing you like this Evans.' Probably turn around and lay across her lap as I twirled her red hair threw my fingers. Definitely not do what I did now and walk away red faced from such a God given opportunity.

My friends continued to stare at me. Remus got up, "To cramped" he mumbled and sat next to a now baffled looking Lily. Desperate to get away from this awkward situation I scooted over to the now empty window seat and rest my forehead on the cool window and closed my eyes.

"He's just really tired" Peter slowly stated. "Ya, really tiered he'll be back to normal after a quick nap". I sighted and inwardly thanked Peter. He had a quick way of lying that usually got him out of any situation. I'm glad he has my back.

I sat there letting the sun wash over my face and listening to the sounds of the inhabitants of the train go about talking and getting reacquainted. I barely even noticed the sound of our compartment door opening.


	3. Chapter 3: Scorching

It was like opening my eyes to hell.

There _he_ was.

God must really hate me, to start my pain and suffering so early in the year.

Yet I know it will do nothing but make me strong and more useful for my….future career choice.

What the fuck is he smirking about,…. is he reading my mind!

That's right you bastard smirk, I'll make you and everyone pay for the torment!

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It was like opening my eyes to heaven.

There _he_ was.

God must really love me, to start quest for passionate teen romance so early in the year.

Yet I know it will do nothing but cause confusion for those I hold dear.

Oh I wonder what Sevey would do if I jumped on him right now…..

I could not suppress the grin that crept across my face at the thought of throwing all my weight on him and tumbling us back onto the walls of the compartment doors behind him. Pinning him against that cool door as I press myself upon him and tilt my head to exhale a ragged breath on his neck. Causing him to kink his head back and let out a low needy sigh…

I glanced at his face as it flashed with rage. The taught eyebrows, the clenched jaw, those curled up lips…eyes full of fire…

Oh yaaaaaa~~~!

Oh fuck ya!

Oh. NO.

My stomach tightened along with my loins. Skin tingling and pricking,, the cabin started getting suffocating-ly hot.

Not here,

Not nooowwww~!

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I shouldn't have drunk that cola slurpy before getting on the train. One of my few weaknesses in this world, and it's a damn muggle beverage. Now I have to pee.

"Uh, I'll be back Lily."

"K, Sev."

Felt good to get out of the compartment. All of Potter's buddies were stuffed in there. Don't they know that that is Lily's and mine cabin? Well ok, we don't own it but we stake clam on it. Stupid Potter, he just went in there to harass her first thing. Thought he was going to burn a hole through the poor girl. I guess it's an improvement none the less; he kept his big mouth shut.

I walked through the sliding door to the adjoining wheel-cart that housed the large luggage and the rest facilities. Lightly I rapped on the door, heard no insults shouted in response so I walked in. Normally, I wouldn't even dare go to the toilet on the train, or another public place for that matter. Bet just one swab sample could culture many petri dishes of foul bacteria. Alas we had barely begun the four hour journey to Hogwarts, and holing it in for that long is detrimental to the kidneys.

I sighed, fumbled with my buckle and undid my trousers.

._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

Sitting in that compartment was absolute torture. I did not dare get up and alleviate the 'problem' unless I wanted everyone to see the raging bonner poking from my slacks. Trying to forget about my male needs I let my eyes wander trying to find anything to occupy myself with.

After scanning my side and finding absolutely nothing of interest, after much despite debate, I allowed my eyes to venture over to where he sat.

He sat there next to Evans, reading. What a book-worm!

His body hunched over, long fingers clutching the leather bound volume, nose barely an inch from the page. I rested my head against the window and allowed myself to stare at him. He won't notice. He's always in another world when he is reading, well at least last year he never noticed me stalking him from behind a self in the library. My pals won't bother neither; they will just think I am gawking at Evan's cleavage. Perfect.

After about 20 mins he put down the book and mumbled something to Lily and left the compartment. With him gone I could finally clam myself down to an acceptable state. Even more tiered than I was about an hour or so ago I decided to go to the rest facilities and splash some water on my face to wake up and calm down.

I headed down the way waving at my fellow students in passing. Woods caught me as I was about to enter the adjoining rail cart.

"Potter you playing this year?"

"Wouldn't miss it for all the gold in Gringotts."

"Try outs are a month after the first day of classes, thought it would give everyone a little while to settle in first."

"Do I even need to show up?"

"Eh, I think we could have Filch replace you than!"

We both laughed. His girlfriend called him from down the hall and he waved as he shuffled away.

I chuckled and made a mental note about try-outs. I was so preoccupied, I forgot to knock on the laboratory door….


	4. Chapter 4: Jubilance

A/N: I would like to say thank you so much for all the feedback! I feel so much joy and smiles when I read them. :)

I would like to clarify some things though, this story was started over summer past in my native language. I have been translating it lately into English and continue to add to the story. For this I would like to apologize for the terrible grammar, spelling, and confusion with points of view. Orz

College is quite demanding and I will continue to write as often as I can, this chapter is a little bite longer though. Ya!

Thank you for reading and please enjoy my late Valentines gift to you!

_Warning:_ _the following chapter contains "golden showers " if you do not enjoy such an activity please exit._

(I feel quite dirty after writing this)

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I hope he does not notice me here. I could stare at him forever...

This was not how I first imagined were I would see my beautiful Severus naked, well half naked, and it's the half of him that really matters.

Thin faded graying trousers slaked down so low that they barely covered the bottom quarter of his soft curved butt.

The light sigh that escaped his mouth as his body relaxed and leaked a yellow liquid into the toilet.

I stepped forward softly so I would not alert him to my presence, _yet_. The room was about the size of a closet and I barely made it in with a few inches between us. I closed that space as I bent forward to Severus's ear and whispered "Enjoying yourself?"

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I snapped my eyes open, and saw from my side view my arch enemy leaned right into my face. Instantly my muscles seized and I felt a burning sensation as I held in my urine.

"What the fuck Potter! What are you doing in here! Never head of knocking? GET OUT!" I tried my best to sound as snarkey as possible but my voice cracked and rose to a shrilly scream.

"I just came in here to use the sink." He said cool-ly, as if he always shares the lavatories with others.

"Well can't you see I'm busy you twit!"

"Ya I can definitely see that." He replied as his hazel eyes sparkled and traveled down to my open boxers. At that moment I just realized I was exposed to him and to make it even worse I did not notice in my fit of rage that my grip on my member had tightened. The shaft had turned rosey purple.

"So you like to wank it hardcore, eh? _Sinivily_? And on the train no less. What's the matter saw how much more sexy I've gotten over the summer and could not wait to pleasure yourself to the image of me?"

"Wha—" I was dumb founded. That bastard Potter loved to poke fun at me. He is always coming up with some creative new joke to mock me. It is always so absurd that it usually boarders on the ridiculous. I could easily laugh them off. But this….this just…hit home.

I was wondering when he was going to start making gay jokes. I mean come on; I haven't even hit on a girl yet. It was sooner or later that someone would start putting two and two together. But to think Potter would be smart enough to do so!

._._._. _._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

I stood there in silence as Severus looked at me angry at first, then surprised. Something changed in his eyes and he shrunk away from me.

I had no clue what caused this sudden change in him. The fire was gone out of him, he looked like a startled animal to scared to make a move to escape a predator.

…he can't escape _the lion_.

An idea clouded my mind; I pictured the triumphant lion capturing the slithering snake between its teeth.

Blood boiling and rushing around fast threw me, I leaned even farther closer to regain the closeness.

"Would you like some help with that?" My hand gravitated towage his boxers.

Severus's pupils narrowed and the whites of his eyes showed, but not a sound escaped him.

Do I just go for it? …Maybe if I just-

I let the tip of my index finger latch under the elastic of his boxers.

I want to touch him so badly, all over, until he melts. If I go slow maybe he would not push away….

Pfff like Severus could ever have the strength to fight off a lion.

My finger tugged the fabric down until it caught on the base of his member.

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Potter…he's pulling off…my underwear…..wha…..

I felt warmth around my hand as his fingers buried there way under mine to loosen my grip on my member. But I did not swat them away,…what's wrong with me….?

He undid my hand and maneuvered it to the side of my hip. He brought his fingers back to the elastic and tugged them down and slipped them over my penis.

He then let his fingertips caress my hips and trace their way to my back side and grab ahold of my trousers and pushed them down to my ankles.

It felt quit nice to be out of the scratchy fabric on this hot day. An exhale passed through my lips before I had the awareness to ketch it.

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He let out a sigh, which means he is enjoying it! Time to let the fun begin.

"You're such a masochist."

"Hu…..?"

OMG Severus is so cute when he's like this!

"I said you're such a masochist"

"W-why?"

Wow he must be losing his mind, I've never heard him respond in one word before.

"Well my dear little Snivey, I would bet a million galleons that you're in some great pain. Or at least some uncomfort. Normally people bounce all around when there holding it. You're not even swaying, am I really that charming that I've stunned you to silence and lack of movement?"

Not a word was uttered in response. He continued to just stare at me with thows bottomless black eyes.

I bent my neck and rested my head on his shoulder, "Tell me, how embarrassing would it be to piss yourself in front of your enemy?"

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Everything is clouded in a hot haze. I can't stop him and I don't care what evil he has planned, nothing matters when he is talking to me like this.

"Give yourself to me."

What a command! But in his voice deepened with rich brassy notes and that smirk I have always hated. I'm crazy but for some reason, this is the hottest thing ever.

He grabbed me and squeezed playing-ly. I squeaked in surprise. His eyes sparkled anew, a blaze of lust behind them.

He started attacking my neck with sloppily placed kisses and his hand on my neather regions worked at a quick pace. I moaned and jerked my body into his touch. In the process bashing my head on the wall.

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In his mewl of pain I pushed my knee in-between his legs and pulled him closer to rest upon my leg. I used my free hand to caress his spin as I started to place trails to kisses up to his forehead. This seemed to sooth him as his pain cries reverted back to moans.

Everything was hot. His skin felt like it had come into contact with a flame. But nothing compared to the heat that was radiating from his loins. After a few minutes he started to protest.

"Ha-mhf Potter, st-stop!" He started to wiggle around.

"W-whats the matter, too hot to handle?" I panted.

"Stop w-,errrha working it." He breathed.

"What you're gonna have to be more specific?" I teased

"My, stop touching m-haaaaa" I tightened my grasp on his member. "Yes that, stop it!"

"Why stop, your body is egging me on" He could not deny what his body was signaling to me. His legs wrapped around my waist, skin flushed pink, and my hand grasped something harder than any broom handle.

"But I can't hold it backhaaaaaa"

"Hm. Come on Snivilly wet yourself already!"

I was so glad he could not feel the bulge in my trousers. I'm the one in control here. I do not want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that having him piss on me would give me my release. But oh! If he only knew half of the other kinky things I have been dreaming of forcing him to do!

I felt something wet sprinkle across my hand. Yes he is losing it. Come on just a little more encouragement. I pumped faster as he gasped and the yellow liquid sprayed out, pooled on my leg, and ran down onto the floor. Floored by the sight of this my loins started to tighten and I lost control of myself. Sinking my teeth into the supple flesh of his shoulder I worked him faster as I grinded myself against him.

Severus arched his back and shortly let out a low deep thought moan. I felt him twitch as he came into my hand. I stopped biting him to let my mouth swivel over and land a bruising kiss on his lips. I too them came, losing the feeling in my legs in dropped to the piss soaked floor with Severus on top of me kissing with all his might back.


End file.
